


Battleground

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s01e09 The Short List, F/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-10-18
Updated: 2000-10-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 22:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14799380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: The tension between CJ and Toby reaches its breaking point.





	1. Battleground

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

******

Disclaimer: All hail to my personal god, Aaron Sorkin, from whose genius provides me with such fascinating characters to play with. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Please don’t sue me.

Author’s note: I’ve played around with the chronology of the ending of the episode, The Short List, to suit my purposes.

Battlegound

Part 1

He strode purposefully down the hallway towards her office. His initial enthusiasm of the President’s decision to name Mendoza as his nominee for the United States Supreme Court was beginning to wane. He couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride and patriotism as the President’s booming voice announced ‘Mr. Justice Mendoza’ to the loud applause of the gathered crowd of West Wing employees outside the Oval Office. This was the right decision. Mendoza was the right choice. God, it was going to be one hell of a fight.

‘It’ s going to be an excruciating battle, but one I have no intention of losing,’ he had told the judge. Twenty minutes later, the veracity of his statement was hard to ignore as his mind started cataloguing all of the obstacles this particular decision came with.

Getting Mendoza past the Judiciary Committee was going to age him at least 20 years, he figured. And then he would have to face the illustrious assembly of narrow-minded, long-winded fools, most commonly known as the U.S. Senate. Unanimous out of committee; 90 senators. Dammit, why did Harrison have to be such a hard ass moron?’

Not to mention that idiot, Lillenfield, going on national television and claiming one in three White House Staffers regularly use drugs. That was exactly what he needed.

First things first, however. He had to concentrate on the official announcement of Mendoza as the President’s nominee for the Court. Despite the unexpected switch of nominees, he was still determined to keep it scheduled for Thursday. Public support was essential. They had to get a favorable view of Mendoza out there before their opponents could try to tear him down.

At least his mind could rest easy about the press. They were so convinced Harrison was a guaranteed lock for nomination, they weren’t working too hard to discover otherwise. His mood improved slightly as he imagined their surprise when the President announced Mendoza. His mouth twitched, as he mentally pictured the smug look on Danny Concannon’s face being replaced by utter confusion. Well, he had found the silver lining of the day.

He turned the corner into the anteroom to her office. Out of the corner of his eye, he noted that Carol was not at her usual position behind the desk. His attention, however, was focused on what was ahead of him. He slowed his pace and stood silently in the doorway. His heart broke at what he saw.

_C.J._

********** 

She tried her hardest; she really had; but in the end, she could help but burst out laughing. Danny stood in front of her holding a small glass fish tank with a goldfish swimming happily around in it. It was the hopeful look on his face that pushed her over the edge, though. His expression was so child-like. She couldn’t help but remember when she was younger and her brother, Jack, had a crush on their baby-sitter. He would wear the same hopeful look on his face that she now saw on Danny.

He was so sweet... and kind, funny, smart. And he made no secret that he was attracted to her. He wanted her. So why couldn’t she just feel the same way? She liked Danny. She really did. She enjoyed his company. He just didn’t send her heart racing. His touch didn’t send volts of desire coursing through her body.

But she had had all that before and where had it gotten her? Broken-hearted and alone. That stuff was for dime store romance novels. In real life, that didn’t work. At least, not for her. The more she thought about it, the more she thought that Danny was exactly what she needed. There were no risks, all she had to do was say yes.

Still she couldn’t take that step. Something held her back. Instead, she retreated back to the familiar flirting that had defined their relationship for the past several months. That was her solid ground, her oasis. Setting the bowl on her cluttered desk, she paused for a moment, then leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek; as she had often kissed her brothers when they had done something sweet.

As she pulled back, a figure standing in her doorway caught her eye. She felt her breath catch in her throat as she looked at his face. Completely impassive, except for his eyes. For one brief instant, she felt the pain in her heart reflected in his gaze.

_Toby._

  


	2. Battleground 2

Part 2

Toby had heard the gossip around the office; the quiet whispers of a relationship between C.J. and Danny. He had never given it much credence. C.J. would never fall for Concannon. He wasn’t her type. Not to mention the huge conflict of interest. The gossip was wrong. Carol, Bonnie, and the rest were just letting their overactive imaginations get the better of them.

Or maybe that’s just what he needed to believe. Because the fact of the matter was, he was now being presented with evidence to the contrary. He heard her glorious laughter ringing in the hall. He saw her beautiful smile and the twinkle in her eye. And he watched in anguish as she kissed the red haired reporter. She kissed him.

Then, their eyes met. Quickly, he looked away.

Her mind raced as she saw Toby in her doorway. What was he thinking? What would he say? Would he tell Leo? What had she seen in his eyes before he looked away? Why for one moment did he look like he had lost his best friend? She felt a slight glimmer of hope race through her heart before she locked it away again, not ready to recognize or deal with those feelings, yet.

"I didn’t mean to interrupt," Toby finally said gruffly, his eyes darting around the room, careful not to look at C.J. or Danny.

"No problem," Danny replied cheerfully. "I’ll leave and let you guys get some work done." Usually, his observant nature would have clued him in to the tension in the room, but that had taken a back seat to more baser emotions when he felt her soft lips on his cheek. He headed for the door. "I’m sure you have a lot to do before rolling out our newest Justice on Thursday," he said casually to Toby. "Good night, C.J. Bye, Toby."

Unable to find her voice, C.J. just smiled half-heartedly at him, then looked back down to her desk. Her gaze landed on her new goldfish, Gail. The corners of her mouth curled up as she watched the small fish swim around in her tank. What a simple life. All Gail had to worry about was food. Food. Damn, Danny forgot to give her some fish food to feed Gail. She’d have to ask Carol to get some tomorrow. Maybe she should take Gail home with her and keep her there. But, then who would feed her when C.J. was away on a trip? The sound of her door closing and Toby’s rough voice snatched her from her thoughts.

"What the hell was that?!"

Finally, an outlet for all of the pain and heartbreak he was feeling. Wrath. Ire. Those were emotions he was more comfortable with. This was his safe ground.

Her head snapped up. "Excuse me?"

"Did you tell him it was Mendoza, C.J.?"

"Of course I didn’t tell him. And I resent that question," she replied; her embarrassment now giving way to anger. Okay. She could handle anger. That was safe.

"Well, I don’t think it’s a completely illogical assumption when I walk in on you and that reporter kissing and then as he leaves he offhandedly mentions the President’s nominee for the Court with a smug smirk on his face. I don’t think it’s completely unreasonable to think maybe you said something to him about Mendoza. That would sure qualify as the scoop of the week for Mr. Paperboy."

"As always, your logic is impeccable, Toby," she fired back. "I’ve spent almost a year ensuring the press knows only what we want them to know and only when we want them to know it. But, this was just too good, Toby," she said sarcastically. "Telling a journalist the President’s nominee for the Court almost three whole days before the President was going to announce it himself was just too juicy for me to sit on. So, I very publicly invite Danny into my office, leave the door open so anyone who passes by can hear what we are saying, then precede to spill my guts about Mendoza. Yeah, I think that’s a completely reasonable conclusion for you to come to after witnessing a very innocent gesture of friendship."

"Then why did he just say something about the newest Justice?"

"I don’t know, Toby!" She threw her arms up in frustration. "Maybe he was referring to the press release that _you_ wrote and issued this morning talking about rolling out the President’s nominee for the Court on Thursday. Do you think maybe that’s a possibility?"

"He was smirking, C.J.! Obviously he knows something."

"You know, some people smile because there is no reason not to, Toby! I understand that’s a little difficult for you to believe, but trust me," she said sardonically. "Oh, but there’s something else you have a hard time doing, isn’t it?"

"You can’t have a relationship with Danny, C.J."

"Number one, My relationship with Danny is professional," she replied. "Number two, if I did want to pursue a personal relationship with him, it would be none of your business!"

"It is nothing but my business," he yelled. "I am the White House Communications Director! The Press Secretary cannot have a relationship with the Senior White House correspondent or any other reporter for that matter!"

"So, you’re saying photographers are still on the table?"

"C.J.!"

"Toby! This conversation is ridiculous."

"It is not ridiculous," he snapped. "It’s very serious, and I am having a difficult time with the fact that you don’t seem to realize that. Does the the phrase ‘conflict of interest’ mean anything to you?"

"We’re professionals, Toby. We can be trusted to leave our work at the office."

"I trust you, C.J.-"

"Do you?!"

"Yes! Now, I don’t happen to trust that arrogant son of bitch reporter, but that’s not the point."

"Then would you please tell me your point, Toby," she sighed in frustration.

"The point is," he replied pointedly, "it doesn’t matter if you leak information to him. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t use a relationship with you to his advantage when it comes to his job. The point is appearances, C.J. You should know that. You were the one who told Sam that it didn’t matter what it was; what mattered was what it looked like."

"He was dating a prostitute," she yelled, exasperated. "He had a relationship with a woman whose night job constitutes a felony!"

"You can’t have a relationship with Danny, C.J. That’s the bottom line," Toby said and walked out of her office, slamming the door behind him.

God, he was hot when he was like that.

Where did that come from? She shook her head and refocused her attention on her fury towards him. How dare he tell her she can’t have a relationship with Danny? Just because he was lonely and miserable, didn’t mean that she had to resign herself to that fate. She was tired of being alone.

And she made her decision. She walked out of her office and to Carol’s empty desk. Thumbing through the rolodex, until she came upon the one she was looking for, she picked up the phone and began dialing the number to Danny Concannon’s cell phone.

"Hi. What are you doing tomorrow night? Ask me to dinner. I said, ask me to dinner, Danny. I accept. Great. Goodnight, Danny."

She replaced the receiver on the hook and glanced in the direction of Toby’s office. Then she smiled in satisfaction.

  


	3. Battleground 3

Part 3

"Toby is here to see you."

C.J. looked up from the computer screen where she was working on a press release, to see her assistant, Carol, standing just inside her office. The apprehensive and somewhat apologetic look on Carol’s face, evidence that word of her and Toby’s fight had circulated through the office. Of course, the fact that they had hardly spoken a word to each other all day, sending messages through their assistants, Josh, and Sam, probably did nothing to abate the gossip.

She sighed and ran her long fingers through her hair. Then nodded reluctantly, signaling her permission. Carol flashed one more silent look of apology and opened the door again. "Carol," she called. "you can go home. I don’t have anything else for the night." Her assistant smiled, then let Toby in, closing the door behind him.

C.J. stood as he entered her office, subconsciously using her height to give her an advantage over him, if only slightly. In confrontations with Toby, she wanted every advantage she could get.

She walked in front of her desk never taking her eyes off of him. He took a few steps inside the door and stopped, glancing anxiously around the room before his gaze landed on hers. Her eyes were such a mystery. Pale blue, they appeared to be so clear; an unobstructed view straight to her soul. Suddenly they changed; grey to light green to blue again. Always changing, but forever crystal clear to him.

She couldn’t tear her eyes from his. They were so dark, almost opaque; rarely giving hint to the passionate emotions raging behind them. She couldn’t help but search them hoping to find the key to understanding him.

Suddenly, he looked away uncomfortable. "Sam said you called a full lid twenty minutes ago."

"Yeah," C.J. replied cautiously.

He fingered his tie. "Your answer to the Cuba question," he spoke in quiet tones. "It was.. good."

"Thanks." After a long pause she finally said, "Is there anything else, Toby?"

"Yeah."

"Well," she prompted after another pause.

"You’re a good Press Secretary, C.J.," he said and looked up to the shocked look on her face. He quickly looked away again. "I just realized that my words last night might have given the wrong impression and I wanted you to know that I think you do a good job."

The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to hide a smile. "Are you apologizing?"

"No," he answered quickly. "I’m just clarifying my statements of last night."

"You admit you were wrong in what you said."

"I might not have expressed myself in the best way possible," he corrected her.

She couldn’t hide her grin any longer and let it dance on her lips. He was so cute when he was nervous. She knew how hard this was for him. "Well, apology or clarification, I accept."

"Okay." He smiled relieved that it was over. Well, not quite. There was still one more thing to do. "Have you had supper, yet?"

It was C.J.’s turn to be nervous as she licked her lips and shuffled her feet slightly. "No, I-"

"Are you ready, C.J.?"

They both looked up to see Danny standing in the doorway. "I’m sorry," he said quickly. "I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll just wait out-."

"No," Toby cut him off. "I was just leaving."

"Toby," she called as he started for the door.

He looked at C.J., his smile now gone. "You know, now that I think about it, I think I was right last night." He turned and walked out of her office.

She stood frozen as he left. She had to explain. She only called Danny because-

"C.J.?"

She snapped her head to see Danny standing by the couch. She had almost forgotten he was there.

"Is something wrong?"

Yes, she wanted to shout. Then, just as quickly her thoughts returned to the night before. Toby had stood there and practically forbid her to see Danny. Like he was her father or husband-. How dare he! They may work together, but he had no right to tell her what she can or cannot do in her personal life. And then tonight, automatically jumping to conclusions and not giving her a chance to explain.

"No," she replied confidently. "Nothing is wrong. Are you ready? Let me grab my coat and purse."

As they drove away from the White House, C.J. couldn’t help but glance at the window to Toby’s office. She could see the lights through the wooden blinds. She turned back to Danny and tried to look happy when he smiled at her. But she couldn’t help but feel that everything was wrong.

  


	4. Battleground 4

Part 4

"Toby, when are you meeting with the Hollywood lobbyists?" Leo asked as the daily staff meeting began to close.

"They’re flying in this afternoon. We’re meeting at the Watergate at six," he replied quietly.

Leo nodded his head approvingly. "Good." Then, surprising everyone in the room he added, "I want C.J. to go with you."

C.J. immediately started to protest as Sam, Josh, and various assistants in the room quickly turned to see Toby’s reaction. He had spent the entire meeting sitting isolated in the north corner of the room; his eyes never leaving the large stack of memos and briefs he held in his lap. Unusually quiet and withdrawn from the heated discussions, he commented only when Leo called on him to.

"Leo," C.J. pleaded. "I need to stay updated on the railroad situation and be here to issue a press release if something happens."

"They’re not going on strike today, C.J.," the Chief of Staff replied. "And I doubt anything substantial will happen in the negotiations tonight."

"Yeah, but-"

"If something does happens, Sam can handle it."

"I can handle the meeting by myself," Toby finally spoke, raising his eyes from his briefs to look at Leo. "It’s just a couple lobbyists. It’s not that important."

Leo couldn’t remember the last time he had seen such desperation in Toby’s eyes. He had heard the rumours of his Press Secretary and Communications Director’s latest fight, but until that morning hadn’t taken it very seriously. Observing the two during the staff meeting had changed his mind, however. He had practically had to force Toby at gunpoint to contribute to the discussion. C.J. had been slightly more communicative, but pointedly careful not to address Toby specifically or look in his direction. What the hell was going on between those two? Even during their hellacious fights in the beginning of the campaign, they never acted like this. Well, whatever was going on, Leo was determined they deal with it and get past it.

"It is that important," he responded forcefully. "The Federal Trade Commission report is pretty incendiary. Not only are Republicans foaming at the mouth to place all of the country’s evils at the feet of Hollywood in conjuncture with the White House, but some members of the DNC as well, including our old friend, Lloyd Russell. Aside from that, a big debate on this will only work to divert public attention from the Education Bill." He paused. "I want C.J. there. Work with them. Come up with a reasonable compromise I can take to the Senate Commerce Committee. We need this settled quietly and as quickly as possible."

Toby looked like he was about to argue, then thought better of it and sighed in resignation. Leo looked over to C.J. questioningly. She nodded reluctantly and shuffled her papers on the desk. Sam and Josh sat in uncharacteristic silence, regarding the entire exchange with undisguised curiosity.

"Okay, that’s it," Leo said and stood up from his desk. He handed a few files to Margaret in exchange for several more as he left the room and headed towards the Oval Office for an intelligence briefing.

"Good morning, Mrs. Landingham."

The older lady looked up from her desk. "Good morning. I hear you’re sending C.J. with Toby to meet with the MPAA lobbyists."

Leo opened his mouth to ask her how she knew that since he had just announced it on a whim a few seconds ago, but then remembered that Mrs. Landingham was always aware of everything that happened in the White House. Rumour had it she even knew the secret codes to the nuclear missiles. "It’s for their own good, Mrs. Landingham. They have to deal with whatever is going on between them."

"They will," she answered with such confidence, Leo wondered exactly what she knew about the situation. Probably much more than she would say.

*******

Toby was walking back to his office, when he heard Bonnie and Ginger talking in the bullpen.

"Carol said C.J. didn’t come in until a few minutes before the staff meeting," Bonnie spoke in a conspiratorial tone. "And she didn’t look like she had gotten much sleep."

"Sarah said she saw her leaving with Danny Concannon last night," Ginger said.

"Bonnie," he hollered breaking up their gossip session before they could say any more. "I need a copy of the FTC report on the Motion Picture Association of America. Ginger, get me a transcript of the MPAA lobbyists’ most recent appearance before the Senate Commerce Committee." After barking a few more orders to junior staffers, Toby went into his office and slammed the door shut. Ginger and Bonnie looked at each other silently. They had also heard via Carol that Toby and C.J. were talking in her office when Carol left for the evening. The assistants all hoped that meant their bosses had reconciled, however, the morning’s evidence indicated otherwise.

Inside his office, Toby sat slumped at his desk staring at a photo on his wall. It was of the senior staff taken the night President Bartlet accepted the nomination for President at the Democratic Convention. As always happened, his eyes were drawn to the right hand corner of the picture. His arm was wrapped around her slender waist, pulling her tightly to him. Her head rested comfortably against his. Large smiles decorated their faces. She was so beautiful.

"Toby?"

He blinked and turned to see Ginger looking unsure of herself.

"Here are the papers you asked for," she said quickly and handed them to him. "Is there anything else you need?"

He paused for a few seconds, then answered softly, "No."

*******

For the third time in as many minutes, the words on the page began to blur. Frustrated, C.J. tossed her glasses on her desk and began to rub her tired eyes. The entire night had turned out a disaster. Although Danny had done his best to impress her and keep her entertained over dinner, she was preoccupied with thoughts of Toby and their fight. She couldn’t even remember what excuse she gave him for cutting the evening short, but she was fairly sure he was suspicious. He never gave any indication, though, and graciously offered to drive her home.

She then spent the entire night tossing and turning in her bed. Her mind filled with memories: meeting Toby for the first time; their knock down, drag out fights in the first few months of the campaign; celebrating after they won the New Hampshire primary; dancing at one of the Inaugural Balls; the way his black eyes gazed into hers as he apologized earlier that evening; the betrayal reflected on his face when he found out that she was having dinner with Danny. Memories, good and bad, collided; one leading to another, precluding any hope of sleep.

Sighing, she replaced the glasses on her face and tried to read the report once more. She glanced at her watch. Ten o’clock. It was going to be a long day.


	5. Battleground 5

Part 5

The White House stood like a beacon of light against the backdrop of an ebony sky. A sight that left most people speechless went barely noticed by man and woman as they passed the several security checks to enter the historic building.

A few hours earlier they had left together in complete silence. She strode purposefully; her spine rigid, every muscle in her body tense. Her gaze went straight ahead, never straying to the man walking at her side. Although only an inch or so shorter than her, the difference in height appeared to much greater as he walked, his shoulders slumped as though he was appointed stand-in for Atlas. He kept his gaze focused on the floor, careful to avoid eye contact with anyone around, especially the woman beside him.

A few hours later, the scene was the polar opposite. Completely oblivious to anyone around them, their attention was now only on the other. The height difference would go unnoticed by a passerby, as the man now marched with passion and conviction, making him appear taller than he actually was. The fury in their voices did little to match the fire in their eyes.

‘It’s a good compromise, C.J.," he said loudly as he followed her into her office. "We’re going to win, so what’s the problem?"

She whipped around to look at him. "It’s a horrible compromise and we’re going to win. That’s my problem, Toby!"

"I’m surprised at you C.J. I thought you would have a little more regard for the First Amendment!" Toby turned and walked out of her office, slamming the door behind him.

A few late night staffers watched as C.J. rushed after him in a furor. As curious as they were to see what she would do, self-preservation took priority causing them to move quietly and quickly to another part of the building. While it was intriguing to observe two brilliant minds go at a battle of wits, no one was willing to risk the chance of being noticed and facing that rage themselves.

"That is completely-"

"Does your boyfriend know? I bet he’d have a few things to say about your favorable view of censorship," he said pointedly and entered his own office.

"He is not my boyfriend," she quickly corrected him as she walked into the darkly lit room behind him and slammed the door with equal force.

Toby turned, surprised at the intensity of her reaction to his remark.

Suddenly realizing she was coming dangerously close to revealing more of her feelings than she wanted, C.J. hurriedly continued her argument as she approached his desk. "This has nothing to do with Danny, and more importantly, it has nothing to do with freedom of expression. This is about protecting our children from the obscenely violent messages in many of today’s movies."

"They’ve agreed to the measures-"

"The measures aren’t enough! Children are killing each other-"

"Watching movies that portray violence does not, in and of itself, make a child violent, C.J.! Any psychologist worth their salt will tell you that."

"No, but watching movies that portray violence supports the idea that violence is acceptable and encourages those children already predisposed to violence to act out, Toby. And any psychologist worth their salt will tell you that!"

"The First Amendment-"

"The First Amendment does not protect a person’s right to yell fire in a movie theatre," she quickly countered. "The First Amendment does not apply when a person’s way of expressing themselves puts others at risk! We have to take a stand. Here and now, we have to state loudly and unequivocally that violence in not acceptable in our society!"

Toby exploded with rage. "What do you want to do, C.J.? Pass a bill? When making a film, these are acceptable topics, these are not! Maybe we should resurrect the House Committee on un-American Activities. Revive the witch hunts, oh excuse me, investigations into the film industry and make sure they are not producing anything that goes against the well-being of the American society, whatever the hell that means!"

He slammed the thick book he was holding down on the desk, causing C.J. to jump slightly. "I refuse to do that! I refuse to be part of a government that forces it’s artists to worry if what they have created is deemed ‘good for the well-being of society.’ Kuleshov, Eisenstein, Pudovkin," Toby listed, "Cinematic revolutionaries who were condemned and punished by the Soviet government because they were more concerned with the art of film making than they were with producing culturally acceptable propaganda!"

He took a step closer, their bodies dangerously close. "Tchaikovsky’s Fifth Symphony is prefaced with the statement, ‘This is my apology to the state.’ That always seems to ruin my enjoyment of that particular piece of music. Art cannot be dictated by what is proclaimed by a small group of individuals as beneficial to society!" He paused to take a breath, his face red with anger. He looked deep into her luminous eyes and said quietly, but with firm conviction, "A man should not look to cultural or societal guidelines when expressing himself. He should look to his heart and he should express the pure passion that resides there." Their faces only inches apart. "That’s the only expression worthwhile," he concluded in a hushed whisper.

She was afraid to blink for fear it would break the spell his eyes, voice, and proximity of his body had cast over her. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest, threatening to explode. The only sound in the room was their heavy breathing, in rhythm with the other’s. C.J. saw his black eyes drop from hers to gaze intently on her mouth. Subconsciously, her pink tongue peeked out to lick her lips. His low groan reverberated through her body.

And suddenly his mouth was on hers. Or was her mouth on his? All thought rushed from her consciousness as lips and tongues collided and fought, continuing their verbal battle on a more intimate level. His arms circled her waist and pulled her to him. She moaned softly as she felt his body pressed firmly against hers, all space between them eliminated. In return, she wrapped her arms around his neck, in attempt to get even closer. Somewhere along the line, the battle stopped and a truce was called. Their lips and tongues now caressed and explored, moving in time with the other.

Time lost all meaning, as they continued to kiss.

  


	6. Battleground 6

Part 6

A portion of his brain attempted to state its case for the necessity of breathing, claiming the biological process was vital for his body to continue to function. This small delegation of brain cells was quickly censored by the rest of his passion addled mind maintaining that his body seemed to be doing just fine at the moment.

She was all he needed. The feel of her slender body pressed tightly against his. The way she splayed her long fingers through his black hair. The way her mouth moved with his. Her soft sighs of desire that sent every nerve in his body racing. This was the moment he had dreamt about, longed for, yet never truly believed would ever happen. She was finally in his arms.

The moment couldn’t last forever, despite Toby’s willingness to try. Slowly, he felt the pressure of her kiss diminish until their lips were no longer touching, but a few inches apart. They rested their foreheads against each other for several seconds, when suddenly C.J. pulled away as if she had received a shock.

The white of her eyes glistened as the moonlight steamed in from the windows. She searched his face, looking for some kind of explanation for what had just sent her world twirling off it’s axis. His eyes, however, were glued to her red, kiss swollen lips as she tried to catch her breath. His mind was still operating on auto-pilot; his only thoughts of how he much he wanted to kiss her again and again and never stop.

When she saw him rock towards her again, C.J. quickly moved away. She fingered a few of the papers on his desk nervously, unable to meet his questioning gaze. "I should go and, uh, make those calls," she said quietly and turned to make her escape. She was almost to the door, when she felt his hand grip her arm. Squeezing her eyes shut, C.J. tried to ignore the electricity that his touch always seemed to bring.

"C.J., I-"

"Toby," she interrupted, her voice trembling.

As she twisted around to face him, Toby saw the desperation in her slate colored eyes.

"Please," she pleaded softly. "I need to go."

Silence filled the room as they stared into each other’s eyes. Slowly, Toby released her arm and watched as she raced out the door.

********

Mrs. Landingham looked up to see the White House Communications Director enter the room, looking more rumpled than usual. "Good morning, Toby. The president is waiting for you." She frowned slightly as he walked past her without a word; his actions only confirming what she already suspected.

Toby opened the door to the Oval Office and the first thing he saw was her. She was thumbing through a file, quickly absorbing the information it offered. Her glasses had slipped and now rested on the perch of her nose. Toby couldn’t help but notice the way her shirt inched up as she crossed her long legs and leaned against the back of the couch.

"Toby!"

Both Toby and C.J. looked up in surprise when they heard the President’s voice. It was only then that Toby saw Leo and the President sitting on the couch opposite C.J. They were now both looking at Toby with slightly suspicious expressions on their faces.

"Sir," he responded impassively.

The President studied Toby’s face for a second, then apparently giving up, he said. "C.J. was just telling us your meeting with the MPAA lobbyists was successful."

"Yes, sir," he answered. "They have agreed to a 12 point plan that includes important measures such as prohibiting movie theatres from showing R-rated trailers at G-rated movies and providing more in-depth information as to why a particular movie received a certain rating. Also theatres that are found not following the rating system will be penalized by the studios."

"Sir," C.J. cut in. "David Reitz, the chief author of the FTC’s report has agreed to issue a statement through the White House, stating that he fully supports the studios’ plan and applauds them for their fast response and cooperation to finding a solution."

"How did you manage that," Leo asked.

A sly smile crept across C.J.’s lips. "Mr. Reitz is from California. Last night, he received a couple phone calls from Alan Hoskins and Ted Marcus thanking him for his all of his hard work. They also suggested that when his term on the FTC ends a little more than a year from now, he consider running for the U.S. House of Representatives from the 33rd district."

"No doubt they offered assistance of a monetary kind if he does decide to run for office," President Bartlet said wryly.

"Yes, sir."

"What about Russell," questioned Leo.

Toby cleared his throat. "I spoke to Senator Russell and he has agreed that it is not in his best interest to fight this issue at the time."

The President clapped his hands. "Good-"

"There will come a time when he does fight it, though," Toby said. "And he would be right to do so," he added softly, shocking every one in the room. He could feel C.J.’s questioning gaze burn into him. "The thing is, Mr. President," he said avoiding looking in her direction. "Hollywood is actively marketing their films toward younger children. They include people under 17 years of age in research focus groups for movies that are eventually rated R. They buy advertising spots during television programs whose major demographics are children ages 12 - 17."

"Mr. President," C.J. cut in, hiding her surprise at Toby’s position, "filmmakers should not look to young children to decide what to make films about. However, it is important that they are not dictated to by the government about what they should make films about." She looked up at Toby. "Men must be allowed to express their passions. They should not be afraid to express what is in their heart for fear of what others think."

President Bartlet nodded his head and spoke after a few seconds. "Well, this sounds like something that needs to be addressed. _Later_. For now, we need to focus on the Education Bill."

"Mr. President." Mrs. Landingham appeared in the doorway. "The intelligence briefing team is here."

"Okay," he said and turned to Toby and C.J. "Thank you both for your good work in taking care of this."

"Thank you, sir," they replied.

"C.J., can I see you in my office," Leo asked as they began to gather their files.

"Sure."

"Toby," Mrs. Landingham said as he emerged from the Oval Office alone.

"Yes," he sighed, clearly expecting a lecture of some kind.

"Would you like a cookie?"

He looked at her in surprise, then answered quietly, "Yeah." The corners of his mouth curled up in a small smile as he accepted the cookie. "Thank you."

********

The day flew by quickly for C.J. The fast pace of the White House and it’s press corps didn’t stop her, however, from noticing that she hadn’t seen Toby since their meeting with the President and Leo that morning. Nor did it stop her from thinking about what had happened between them the night before.

She made a mistake last night. She knew it the moment she closed the door behind her. It had taken her until that morning, however, to recognize it as a mistake. And even now, she wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to do about it; what she could do about it. She looked at the computer screen and realized that she was on the same line she had started writing ten minutes ago. Trying to clear her mind of thoughts of him, she started to write the sentence again.

"Come in," she called as she heard a knock on the door. Carol had left earlier for a doctor’s appointment. "One moment," C.J. said as she finished the paragraph, then looked up to see her visitor. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw Toby standing in front of her desk. Unlike that morning, he was looking at her intently. "Hi," she said softly.

"I need to say something to you."

  


	7. Battleground 7

*********

See Part 1 for disclaimer

Part 7

"I need to say something to you."

C.J. attempted to put a name to the feeling those simple words evoked in her. After a few seconds, she gave up; confident in the knowledge that no one word could adequately describe her emotions.

She stood and walked from behind her desk. She wanted to say something; a joke, quick one-liner, anything to lighten the serious mood that filled the room. Nothing came, though. Instead, all she could do was wait.

Every nerve in his body wanted to look away, but Toby couldn’t tear his gaze from her face. She was so incredibly beautiful and strong. It was the vulnerability in her eyes, though, that caused his breath to catch. It was then that he knew he was doing the right thing. Nothing was more important than her happiness. He would anything in the world to save her from being hurt.... including this.

"I’m sorry."

C.J. blinked. Confusion clouded her face. "What," she finally asked incredulously.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I was wrong and I apologize."

The room was painfully silent for several seconds, when suddenly C.J. started to laugh; softly at first, but quickly turned into a full blown guffaw. Toby shuffled his feet, and looked down at the floor, afraid to let her see how much he enjoyed hearing her laugh. He worked to keep his voice sounding gruff. "What’s so funny?"

"Do you realize there is a office pool betting who would be the first one to get you to say those words?"

"What words?"

"I’m sorry, I was wrong, I apologize," C.J. listed gleefully. "Of course, the irony of the situation is with the way we’ve been fighting lately, nobody would believe me if I told them. They’d think I was just trying to get back at you." She paused. "Listen, how about we go find an audience and you repeat what you just said in front of witnesses."

"C.J.-"

"I’ll split the money with you. 50-50. What do you say?"

Toby was quiet for a moment, then said, "What’s the pot up to?"

"We’ll have to ask Sam. Last I heard, it was $2400."

It was Toby’s turn to blink in surprise. "$2400?"

She smiled. "That would make your share $1200."

"Well, thank you for clearing that up, C.J," he said. "In my 20 years of schooling, I was never quite able to master the art of simple division." He hesitated. "Why would we have to ask Sam?"

"He’s in charge of the pool," she answered matter-of-factly.

"And the entire office is in on it?"

"Well...."

"C.J.," he said warningly.

"It’s more like the West Wing."

"What?!"

"And some of the Secret Service. And, um, a few Cabinet members. Oh, and several Congressmen."

Toby threw his hands in the air in disgust. "Is there anyone in the federal government not in on this?"

"The President and Leo," she replied quickly. "You know, since they could order you to apologize and all. It really wouldn’t have been fair."

"I’m going to kill him," said Toby, rubbing his forehead.

"Well, can you wait on that until after we collect the money?"

Toby thought for a moment. "Tell me when the pot reaches $4000. I’ll just have to make Princeton’s life a living hell until then," he said in the utmost seriousness.

"A job you’re uniquely suited for," C.J. deadpanned.

His careful facade cracked and they both began to laugh. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Toby saw the goldfish swimming happily around it’s small bowl. He stopped laughing, causing C.J. to notice his immediate turn-about.

"Toby," she said softly, and reached out to touch his arm.

He quickly stepped back to avoid her touch. "I was wrong to say you couldn’t date Danny." He cleared his throat again. God, this was so painful. "Your personal life is clearly none of my business."

C.J. could feel her heart breaking with every word.

Toby continued, his own heartache blinding him to hers. "Danny is a good guy. And I should never have questioned his or your professionalism. I apologize for that."

She shook her head. "Toby," she whispered.

He looked into her lucent eyes, unshed tears causing them to glitter with light. "I hope he makes you happy," he said sincerely and quickly left before she could say a word.

Her hand flew to her mouth, as she watched the door close behind him. Tears streamed down her silken cheeks, leaving salty trails. Without a word, C.J. sunk to the floor and cried.

********

"C.J., what’s wrong?"

She looked across the elegantly set table to her date. "I’m sorry," she said questioningly, as if awoken from a trance.

Danny sighed. Something had been off with her the entire night. In the beginning, he was too happy to be on a date with C.J. Cregg to question it. But, as the night progressed, the unpleasant realization that she didn’t want to be here was too overwhelming to ignore. Her mind was on something else, _someone_ else.

"Go talk to him."

"I don’t know-" C.J. began to say, but as she looked into his eyes, she found she couldn’t deny it. Slowly, she reached to grasp his hand. "I’m sorry," she said quietly.

He smiled sadly. "It’s okay." He squeezed her hand. "Go to him."

C.J. took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay." She stood and took a few steps before turning back to him. "Thank you."

Danny nodded gently and watched as she rushed out of the restaurant.

********

"Ginger!"

Toby’s assistant looked up from her desk to see C.J. racing through the halls in a stunning evening dress.

"Where’s Toby?"

"He left a few hours ago," Ginger replied. She was about to ask the Press Secretary if she wanted her to call him, but C.J. was gone before she could say anything more.

********

Toby was sitting in his living room reading a memo on Social Security Reform, when he heard his door bell ring. He debated answering the door, not really in the mood for visitors. Another chime of the door bell interrupted his thoughts. The knocking that followed made up his mind. Annoyed, he threw open the door. His irate retort died in his throat as he saw her standing in the doorway.

Oblivious to his shock, she swept past him into the room. Turning to face him, her eyes blazed with fire. "You have a hell of a lot of nerve!"

 

 


	8. Battleground 8

********* 

See Part 1 for disclaimer.

Part 8

*********

"You have a hell of a lot of nerve!"

His eyes widened as she threw off her wrap to reveal a golden halter dress that clung to her body like a second skin. Perfectly placed gemstones sparkled as the light hit them just right. The dress stopped just above her knees, showing off her outstanding legs. He groaned inwardly. He was definitely a legs man.

She looked like a goddess.

C.J. worked to hide a smile as she saw his reaction to her dress. She wasn’t quite sure what had made her put it on earlier in the evening, as it was a little too formal for the restaurant Danny was taking her to and it was much more risqué than she typically wore. But when she saw the way Toby was looking at her right at that moment, she silently thanked whatever deities that had convinced her wear it.

At the same time, she couldn’t help but notice how he looked in his faded blue jeans and loose button down shirt. It had been a long time since she had seen him in something other than a business suit and she was enjoyed the change tremendously. He looked so casual and relaxed.

He was so sexy.

"What the hell are you talking about," Toby gathered his wits and replied to her irate retort.

She blinked, snapping back into her anger. "How dare you do that me!"

Toby felt his ire rise in response to hers. "How dare I do what, C.J.," he asked. "I already apologized for what I said about you and Danny. What more do you want?"

"You know that’s not what I’m talking about."

He rubbed his forehead in frustration. He had finally gotten her off his mind and was able to focus his concentration on the briefing memos he was supposed to be reading, when she suddenly shows up looking drop dead gorgeous and pissed as hell. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? "C.J., believe me when I say that not only do I not have clue as to what you’re talking about, but that if you don’t tell me what you are talking about in the next two seconds, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!"

"You kissed me," she blurted out without thinking. "You’ve spent the past several days being a complete and utter jack-ass, making me loathe the very thought of you, and then out of nowhere you kiss me!" The words were tumbling out of her mouth now. "And not just any kiss; but the most passionate, consuming kiss I’ve ever experienced."

As C.J. stopped for a second to take a much needed breath, she noticed Toby was uncharacteristically struck speechless by her tirade. She couldn’t afford to think about his reaction, however. She couldn’t afford to think at all, or she was sure her mind would be shocked at all she was revealing to him and convince her to run out the door and never see him again.

"Danny is a good guy," she said, almost as if she was trying to convince him. She looked intently into his eyes. Her own golden brown eyes beginning to fill with tears. "He is sweet and kind," she paused, "and I know exactly how he feels about me."

She continued strongly, her wrath returning, "And he spent the entire evening trying to make me feel the same way about him, but all I could think of was you!" Tears were streaming down her face now as all of the feelings she carefully kept hidden for the last few years came bubbling to the surface. "You! You and your arrogant, pompous attitude. Your complete reluctance to let another person know what you’re feeling if it is anything other than annoyance or contempt." Her voice grew softer with each breath. "And how you’re the first person I want to see when I have good news. The way your lips felt on mine. The way I feel when you look at me." She brushed the salty tears from her flushed cheeks. "It wasn’t fair to him. He deserves more than someone who wants someone else," she finished, exhausted, her voice almost a whisper.

Silence fell over the room as they stood motionless, their eyes locked on each others. Her entire body tensed, anxiously waiting for his reaction. Toby struggled to find the words for the thoughts racing through his mind, and more importantly, the emotions in his heart. But, even with his excessively large vocabulary, he couldn’t seem to find any to adequately tell her what he wanted her to know.

Instead, he slowly took a step towards her. Then another, until only inches separated them. He reached up and gently touched her face with both hands, smoothing away her tears with his thumb pads. Then slowly moved forward and captured her lips in a gentle kiss.

As he pulled away slightly, her eyes fluttered open to gaze into his in wonder. "C.J." he murmured, determined to tell her how he felt.

She didn’t need to hear the words, though. His kiss told her all she needed to know. "Shhhh," she whispered and leaned into him, pressing her lips against his.

It started soft and gentle; but like a slow burn, turned into one of desperation and passion. Their mouths never broke contact as he guided her to the couch. His strong hands massaging her back, pleasantly surprised to find it left bare in the dress. Her hands ran down the front of his shirt, unbuttoning several of the top buttons to caress his chest.

After several minutes of heavy kissing, his lips left hers and began to travel across her jaw and down her long, slender neck. C.J. laughed lightly as his beard and mustache tickled her. Her laughter quickly turned to a gasp of desire, however, when she felt him nip her neck with his teeth, then quickly soothe the skin with his tongue. "Toby," she softly sighed and pulled his face back to hers.

He was running purely on instinct, now. All thoughts that didn’t directly relate to this incredibly gorgeous woman flew out of his mind. His entire consciousness focused on what she was doing to him with her lips, tongue, and hands. His own hands moved her back to cradle her sweet face as he explored her elegant features with soft kisses. As his lips touched her left cheek, he reached up to run his fingers through her reddish gold hair.

Suddenly, the light hit the wedding band he still wore on his hand. All of his fears came rushing back, hitting him like a freight train. He jerked away from her embrace and quickly rose to his feet, putting as much distance between them as possible.

"Toby?" Her voice was thick with emotion. "What’s wrong?"

He turned to look at her. Her hair mussed up; her lips red and swollen from his kisses; she had never looked more beautiful. With that thought, he looked down guiltily.

She followed his gaze to his left hand, and felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw what he was looking at. His wedding band. The precious token of love from another woman. A woman he swore his heart to. C.J. bit her lip to keep from crying. "You still love her, don’t you," she asked, not quite sure if she wanted to hear his answer.

Toby was quiet for what seemed like an eternity. "I don’t know," he finally replied. He looked back up to her gaze. "I don’t know."

  

  


	9. Battleground 9

********* 

See Part 1 for disclaimer.

Part 9

*********

 

C.J. watched as Toby leaned against his desk, twisting the gold wedding band on his finger, then sighing with resignation and letting his hands fall to his sides.

Talking about his feelings was not one of his favorite pastimes. In fact, it ranked pretty close to having to say ‘please’ on his list of things he loathed to do. Could he really open up to her about his deep secrets and fears? It only took one look at the pain and confusion in her eyes for him to make his decision.

"Remember when we met?"

C.J. was surprised when she heard him ask her the last question she expected. "I think about it quite a bit, actually," she answered, unable to completely hide the smile the memories evoked. "Lindstrom’s campaign in Illinois. I seem to recall you didn’t make too many friends there."

Toby snorted. "They were all morons who couldn’t find well constructed sentence or complete thought in a book of Shakespeare. They made Sam and his damn imagery look like Hemingway."

She laughed in agreement.

"You were different."

C.J. looked up to see him gazing at her intently. "So were you."

He shook his head. "I had the talent they were lacking, but other than that..." he trailed off. Taking a deep breath, he said, "The bus rides on the campaign trail? The middle of the night, and everyone was asleep but us."

Toby looked out a window to the black night sky, as if he was reliving those long nights. C.J. would be awake with heady excitement that came with the first major campaign. Toby awake from habit. He would sit in the back of the bus, as far from everyone else as he could, and work on his laptop. In the beginning, when she would come back and try to talk to him, he would brush her off. C.J. was nothing if not persistent, however, and soon he looked forward to the evenings and their talks. She was so intelligent, surprisingly funny, and very proud of what they were doing.

"One night I asked you why were so enthusiastic about Lindstrom. Do you remember what you said?"

She thought for a moment, then answered, "I said because he was a good man."

"Yeah."

"And you argued that it didn’t matter if the candidate was a good man. What mattered was that he was an effective politician."

"Yeah," Toby sighed and ran his hand over his head. "Like I said, you were different. You were idealistic. You still are, C.J. I, on the other hand, am just like the rest of them. Cynical."

"No," she said softly. "That’s just what you want people to think. And you do a good job of it. But, I know better. Rick Lindstrom for all of his good qualities was not an effective politician. Still, you about killed yourself the last few weeks of the campaign working as hard as you did, even though it was clear to everyone, even me, that we were going to lose. You did that because you believed in him and what he stood for."

"After we lost, I was completely disillusioned," C.J. admitted. "I decided you were right. Good men and women don’t win elections, effective politicians do. So, I stopped working on individual campaigns after that, and focused on activist political organizations. That way I could protect myself from having to learn that lesson over and over."

He glanced over to her and immediately looked away again, uncomfortable with the admiration in her eyes.

"You were stronger than I was, though," she continued. "You kept working on campaigns. And you lost every one, not because you weren’t good at what you do, but because you chose to support the good man instead of the effective politician," she said passionately. "You encouraged your candidates not to run away from issues because they were unpopular, but to embrace them because they were important." C.J. paused, then said softly, "You’re not like the others, Toby. You are different."

Her words hung in the air as he shuffled his feet and anxiously fingered some papers on his desktop. Unsure what to say, he pushed forward, "Well, um, when that campaign was over, and I went back home to New York, Andy said she wanted a divorce."

C.J. winced at the sound of anguish in his voice.

"I didn’t see it coming," Toby said, his voice deep with emotion. "I should have, though. I was always away on the campaign trail. She was in Washington in Congress. We had found lives separate from each other."

Clearing his throat, he then said, "I tried to talk her out of it. But, after a few weeks together, it was clear something had changed between us. So, when she asked again for a divorce, I didn’t fight her. I just wanted her to be happy, and I knew she wasn’t happy married to me."

Toby paused to see her gazing at him attentively, taking in every word he said. He struggled to find the words to continue. "So, we got divorced and I went back to work campaigning. I didn’t forget you, though. I tried to keep up with what you were doing and a few years later, when Leo was looking for a press secretary for Presidential Candidate Jed Bartlet, your name immediately to my mind. Leo was impressed with your work and I think he figured since we already knew each other, you would be able to deal with me when others couldn’t."

Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Well, if that was the case, then he was in for a rude surprise," C.J. observed. "The first several months of the campaign, we could barely say ‘hello’ to each other without exploding into a fight over something or other." She shook her head subtlely. "What happened, Toby?"

He ducked his head and scratched his forehead. Now was crunch time. He had to come clean with her about what he was feeling or he might lose her as a friend. He couldn’t let that happen.

"C.J.," he started quietly, "when I signed the divorce papers, I wished Andy well and hoped she could find someone else to make her happy. I didn’t have the same hopes for myself. I had been married to her for 13 years. She was the only woman I ever loved and I couldn’t imagine ever loving anyone else. We got divorced, but I still wore my ring because I still felt married to her in my heart."

He took a deep breath. Here it comes. "But, when I saw you again, something happened." He looked into her golden eyes. "You took my breath away." He paused, uncomfortable with exposing himself so much. He decided to put the spotlight on her a little. "C.J., you said after Lindstrom lost Illinois, you decided to stop working on individual campaigns. Why did you come to work for President Bartlet?"

"Because you said he was a good man," she answered, then added softly, "and because you asked me to."

Their eyes locked in understanding. "My feelings for you scared me," Toby admitted after a few seconds. "I loved Andrea very much, but I don’t think I ever felt as intensely about her as I did you. We met in college and got married five years later." He shrugged his shoulders. "It was comfortable."

"I had a crush on you when we first met," C.J. confessed. "Handsome, brilliant, funny, passionate and full of conviction," she paused then smiled, "and incredibly sweet, despite all of your attempts to hide it. I remember how you would keep a stash of blueberry lollipops in your briefcase. They were Julie’s favorites," she said, referring to their candidate’s 5 year old daughter. "And whenever you saw her, you would wait until you thought no one was watching, then give her one." Her expression turned serious. "And when I saw you again, four years later, I realized my feelings hadn’t changed."

"I was afraid to let you know how I felt," Toby said. "I felt guilty. My feelings for you were stronger than I had ever had before, even for my wife. I didn’t know how to deal with them, so I ended up pushing you away."

"That’s why you fought with me so much," she asked in a whisper.

"Yeah. Well, that and the fact that you were wrong," he answered.

C.J. rolled her eyes and laughed. "Of course." She reached out to touch his arm. "I didn’t mind arguing with you, Toby. We did that enough during Lindstrom’s campaign. It was you I missed. Talking to you. Working on problems with you. I missed our friendship, Toby."

"I missed our friendship, too," he replied. "And when we were in Illinois for the Presidential campaign, all of those memories came back to me and I realized that if I kept pushing you away, soon I would lose you altogether. And that scared me more than anything." He paused. "So I stopped pushing and by the time we won the election, I think our we were friends again."

"We were."

"And that was enough," said Toby forcefully. "I could see you every day and I got to work with you, and I thought that was enough." He looked away. "Until I saw you with Danny."

C.J. closed her eyes and sighed. "I had given up on any possibility of a relationship between us, Toby. I didn’t think you even thought about me like that. Danny’s attention was flattering, but..." she trailed off, grappling for the words to express herself. "He wasn’t you," she finally said. "I only went out with him to get back at you for saying I couldn’t."

"It hurt me to see you with him."

"And it hurt me to hear you say that you weren’t part of my personal life."

"I want to be part of your personal life, C.J."

"I do, too."

He searched her eyes and for the first time saw certainty. Toby felt his heart swell and a smile threaten to overtake his face. Her gaze left his, and he followed it down to the wedding band on his left hand. Andy had placed it on his finger when they got married. They were no longer married, though. She had a life without him. And now, Toby finally felt like he could have a life without her. Confidently, he slid the ring off his finger and placed it on the desk. He looked back to C.J. Her eyes shone with happiness and a grin danced on her lips.

"Can we make this work," he asked.

"Yeah."

He pulled her close and hugged her tightly. They began to laugh with relief. Her laughter was so beautiful to him. They pulled back and looked into each other’s eyes.

"I want to be with you, C.J."

"I want to be with you, Toby."

Their lips met in a perfect kiss.

They were finally together.


	10. Epilogue

****** 

See part 1 for disclaimer 

******

 

Epilogue

This was it. The last three months had been the most excruciating ones of his entire life. Oh, sure, there were a few shining moments. The time he spent with a certain red-haired Press Secretary certainly ranked among of them. As soon as they discovered their feelings, however, the Mendoza confirmation began in full swing and they were both swamped with work.

At first, Toby was afraid his heavy workload, therefore an inability to spend much time with her exploring their new-found relationship, would upset C.J. She, however, understood better than anyone the amount of work the job demanded. She was also busy with the Mendoza confirmation along with the India/Pakistan situation, Josh’s secret plan to fight inflation, the hate crimes legislation, and all of the other daily crises that arose.

Toby also worried that he would take his stress from the difficult confirmation out on her. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. In fact, she was probably the only thing in his life that had kept him sane during all of it. She seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to him. She knew when he needed to be alone, and ran interference for him. And she knew when he needed to be with her away from all of the craziness. She would pop in his office during their lunch break and force him to leave and walk around the mall with her. Some evenings, she would show up at his apartment unannounced with Chinese take-out and a movie. They would talk about anything and everything; their families, jobs, past relationships, preference of pizza toppings, etc. Often, they wouldn’t talk at all, and just enjoy being together. It was those small respites that helped him keep going.

This was the last day, though. He was about to be paroled. It was almost over. A part of him was saying he just wanted it to be over. But, another part knew that wasn’t enough. He had to win.

"Congratulations," a woman Toby didn’t recognize said, as she passed him in the hallway.

"Not yet," he mumbled and walked into the Mural Room. It was full of festive West Wing staffers holding champagne flutes. His assistants, Bonnie and Ginger, stood in front of two television monitors that showed the Senate vote on Mendoza’s confirmation. 12 yea votes; 2 nay. Everyone was smiling and laughing. Bonnie was holding a bottle of the champagne.

"Only one drink per person," she said gleefully. "Who’s driving?"

"Put it down!"

"Toby," she complained.

He looked at her incredulously. These people worked at the White House, for God’s sake. Didn’t they learn about Senate procedure when it came to confirming the President’s nomination for the Supreme Court in school? Did they know nothing about the little concept of tempting fate? Were they purposefully trying to ruin his Day of Jubilee?

"Put it down," he ordered, then proceeded to give them all a lecture on those very topics while collecting their flutes. He would not let these ignorant people completely undo all of his hard work by tempting fate! After properly chastising them, he looked around the room for the one person he did want to share this with.

"Where’s C.J.?"

About that time, Carol walked into the room. Alone.

"Carol, where’s C.J.?"

"She had a last minute thing to take care of she said," C.J.’s assistant answered. "She should be here soon. She told me to tell you ‘congratulations.’"

"Not yet," he mumbled gruffly. Everyone turned their attentions back to the television monitors. 30 yea; 8 nay. Toby’s thoughts were elsewhere, however.

"How ‘bout some champagne," Josh’s ebullient tone filled the room as he and Donna entered.

"No," the group of staffers replied dejectedly.

"What the hell?"

Toby sighed. "Ginger," he ordered, his mind too preoccupied to explain to yet another ignorant federal employee the concept of tempting fate. How did these people get hired?

More importantly, where was C.J.? What was she doing instead of being here with him? It had to be pretty important. She knew how much this meant to him.

Boos and shouts focused his attention back to the vote. 39 yea; 10 nay. Another yea vote was cast, inducing cheers from the staffers.

"Toby," Sam called from the doorway he just walked in.

"Not yet."

"It’s our Day of Jubilee."

"Not yet."

Toby briefly entertained the thought of going to check on her. Maybe he could help her with whatever it was. He quickly, but reluctantly, discarded the idea. There was no real reason to do that. C.J. was perfectly capable to handle whatever came up. If he left, especially during the confirmation, it would raise everyone’s suspicions.

Another round of cheers erupted. 48 yea; 14 nay.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Leo enter the room.

49 yea; 14 nay.

He could see the finish line. His heart started to race.

50 yea; 14 nay.

"Toby, Sam," Leo pronounced. "You’re about to put a guy on the Supreme Court."

Silence fell over the room. Did time stop? Why was it taking so long?

"Senator Rindell," the Senate secretary called.

All of the muscles in his body tensed. His hands tightened around the neck of the champagne bottle he held.

Ironic, that this particular senator could cast the vote to put Roberto Mendoza on the bench. Off all of Mendoza’s judicial decisions and opinions, of his remarks in the press, issues with his background as a judge; that senators brought up to Toby -- and there were plenty -- Senator Rindell from Nebraska had found the most obscure ones to quibble over. Every other day it seemed, he called Toby’s office having found some new issue with Mendoza. The only thing about Rindell that kept Toby from strangling him most days was the fact political factors rarely swayed his decisions. He only looked for the best argument for or against. Toby had to respect a man like that.

However, that meant Toby wasn’t certain how the elder man planned to vote. It could go any way.

"Yea."

The room exploded. Toby let out his breath that he wasn’t aware he had been holding.

"Toby," Josh called.

A genuine smile came over his face as he enthusiastically popped the cork. He let out a yell and stood up quickly as foam overflowed the bottle onto his pants. Everyone laughed and started to toast to the confirmation.

The champagne flowed and hugs of congratulations filled the room. Toby felt like he had shed 200 pounds and 17 years. Only one thing could make this night better, he thought as his mind once again turned to C.J. Where was she?

His mood slightly less cheerful, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the cigar he brought with him. The President had given him the cigars last year for the holidays. They were the best he had ever smoked, and kept them for special occasions. He placed it between his lips, then began to search his pockets for his lighter.

Suddenly, everyone grew quiet. A slender hand came from behind him, holding a lighter and lit his cigar. Vaguely, he heard someone start the stereo. A pulsing jazz beat filled the room. Toby’s attentions, however, were on her. She was wearing the suit she had on all day, except her jacket was now gone and a few more top buttons on her blouse were unbuttoned. Her eyes gleamed mischievously and a sly smile danced on her red lips as he gazed at her in surprise.

The crowd went crazy and quickly cleared the center of the room for C.J. in anticipation of the infamous ‘Jackal.’ Toby was mesmerized. They sway of her hips, her artistic flare as she pantomimed to the lyrics, her seductive glances; he was spellbound. Dozens of people had crowded into the room to watch, but it felt as she was performing just for him. So erotic. Like they were the only two people in the room. God, how he wished that were true.

"The Jackal," the deep voice sang, the song coming to an end.

C.J. saw the desire in his black eyes and couldn’t help but wink at him and smile.

"The Jackal."

She watched as he stood quickly as the song finished and took a step towards her. C.J. knew he had forgotten about everyone around them, and was about to grab her and kiss her passionately. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on the viewpoint, the staffers broke out in applause.

Unaware of what was happening between the Communications Director and Press Secretary, they rushed to surround the two, separating them. C.J. nodded absently as several people gushed over her performance, her eyes always on him. As soon as the opportunity presented itself, she slipped out of the room.

*******

He was about to go and show her exactly what she was doing to him when all of the sudden he was surrounded by people. Toby suppressed the urge to shove them aside to reach her. Instead, he mumbled a few ‘thank you’s’ and feigned interest in what they were saying. Finally, he was able to push through the crowd to where she had been.

She was gone.

*******

Her office was dark, except for the small light from her desk lamp. She bent down to scribble a few notes for Carol. The song still in her head, she hummed along with it, her hips moving to the beat.

She heard the sound of her door closing. Turning around slowly, she leaned against her desk. A playful smile came over her face.

"I wondered when you would get here."

Without a word, he strode towards her purposefully. She threw her arms around them and they began to kiss passionately.

After a few minutes, they separated breathless.

"I thought we had a rule of no kissing in the office," she whispered, her voice raspy.

"It’s my Day of Jubilee," he replied. "All rules are null and void," Toby concluded and captured her lips once more.

The passing sound of loud laughter from the corridor caused them to break apart.

"Let’s get out of here," said Toby.

C.J. giggled at the urgency in his voice. She kissed him, lightly. "My place. I have a surprise for you."

"Okay," Toby agreed. "I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes."

He was halfway to the door, when he turned around and kissed her once more soundly, then left.

*******

Twenty minutes later, C.J. opened the door to her apartment. She was barely able to shut the door behind him, before he pulled her into his embrace and began dancing to music only he could hear. She laughed at his behavior. It was so wonderful to see him like this.

"So, what’s my surprise," he asked, his tone almost child-like.

‘Kind of impatient, aren’t you?"

"Yes," he replied, unabashedly. "What is it?"

"Wait here," she instructed. "I’ll be back in a moment."

Toby watched as she went into her bedroom and shut the door. He quickly found the light switch and dimmed the lights, then he lit a several of the candles carefully placed around the room. He was lighting the last candle, when he heard the door open behind him.

He felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw her in the doorway. She was no longer wearing the business suit. Instead, she had changed into an exquisite white silk and lace nightgown. Candlelight glistened off the tiny straps of the gown against her delicate shoulders. The hem ended several inches above the knees, allowing him a sensational view of her long legs. He groaned inwardly. Yup. He was a legs man.

"Happy Day of Jubilee, Toby."


End file.
